


Arcs and Tangents

by punkrockgaia



Series: Fun with Geometry! [2]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecearlos - Freeform, Fluff without smut in chapter three, Fluffy Smut, Jellyfish, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peril, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockgaia/pseuds/punkrockgaia
Summary: Experiments, hypotheses, and proofs.





	1. Introduction to Data Collection

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Pythagorean Complications. I'm hoping to update about once a week, work schedule allowing. Thanks to Pallidvixen, as always, and thanks to all the other great Cecearlos writers out there! I hope you like it.

For the week or so following Cecil’s misadventure in the park, things were awkward in the little house on Gila King Lane. Cecil mostly slept and convalesced, taking careful, hobbling steps on swollen feet from the bed to the bathroom to the kitchen and back. Carlos and Earl heaped him with attention when he was awake, and spoke in hushed whispers when he was asleep, scarcely daring to touch each other for fear of opening barely-healed wounds. They sat over a hearty dinner one night, when Cecil sighed and put down his fork. 

“This sucks.”

Earl grimaced. “I’m sorry, Cecil, I wanted to make something filling, because you slept through breakfast and lunch.”

Cecil groaned. “No, it’s not the food, Earl. The food’s good, I mean it, it’s great… It’s…” he picked up his fork again and waved it around. “It’s this. I messed everything up, I ruined everything. I’m making you guys walk on eggshells around me, and I hate it.”

Earl took his hand. “Cee, c’mon…”

He shook his head. “No, I hate it. I just want things to go back to where they were, when we were happy…”

Carlos cleared his throat, and the other two men turned their attention to him.

“Ashooly, Ibeen finking,” Carlos said, through a mouthful of potato soufflé.

“Chew and swallow,” Earl scolded.

“Oyea, forry,” Carlos said, doing as Earl had suggested. Once his mouth was clear, he continued. “Actually, I’ve been thinking.”

“It’s what you do,” Cecil and Earl finished. 

“Yes!” Carlos said, with a bright smile. “And lately, I’ve been thinking about us. Our relationship. I think that we need to do some data collection.”

“Is that science, Bunny?” Cecil asked, leaning forward.

“I’m glad you asked!” Carlos grinned. “It’s very exciting! Yes, it is very scientific. In science, when you do research, you have to go through a data collection phase, where you, well, collect data! And by ‘data,’ I mean information.”

“And this relates to us how?” Earl asked, spreading his hands in front of him.

“It relates very well. I started by thinking about how we were referring to our relationship, at this stage, as an experiment.”

“ _You_ did,” Earl corrected. “I called it a recipe.”

“Which is a cooking experiment,” Carlos continued. “And I remembered that we had all agreed that perhaps the variables needed some adjustment. But how can we adjust the variables if we don’t have all the data?” Both men were looking at him quizzically, so he explained further. “Okay. So. We have all been together, and dating and so on, but we didn’t do it systematically, so it’s hard to separate the data from the noise, you see?”

“No,” Cecil admitted, shaking his head. Earl just shrugged.

Carlos took a deep breath. “Okay. I think, over the next week, we need to spend time together, as couples. Earl and Cecil, Cecil and me, me and Earl. And we need to _pay attention_ , see what works and what doesn’t. And in a week’s time, we’ll all talk about what we learned, and then we can come up with some solid guidelines for going forward. What do you think? It’s very good science, which means it is very correct.”

Cecil and Earl looked at each other for a moment, then back to Carlos. “Oooookaaayy,” Earl said, hesitantly. “Where do we start?”

“I think,” Carlos said, reaching over the table to take Cecil’s hand, “given what we’ve recently learned, we start with Cecil. We know that he’s been feeling left out, and I think he deserves first shot. So either you or I —“

“I call dibs!” Earl said, quickly. Carlos raised an eyebrow, and Earl chuckled. “I’ve had an idea. I’ll need a few days to put it together, but… I’d like to go first, if that’s okay.”

“It’s okay with me, if it’s okay with Cecil…” Carlos said, looking to him.

“Yeah, okay,” Cecil said, with a weary smile. “And then you and I have a date?”

“Yes,” Carlos said, nodding. “And then Earl and I will. And then we talk.”

“All right,” Cecil said, a touch hesitant, grasping Earl’s hand. Earl reached out to Carlos, and the three sat, joined in a loving and tentative circle. “And then we talk.”


	2. Experiment 1: Cecearl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jathis for the image of Cecil with a cane, and for the kinky and heartfelt Cecearlos fics! And thanks to all the Cecearlos writers out there.

Thunk-thunk-thunk

Cecil’s cane hit loudly on the wood floor of the foyer as he hobbled to the living room. He was dressed in his favorite pajamas, per Earl’s request — a pair of flannel drawstring pants and a worn NVCR pledge drive t-shirt. His back felt chilly, but his front was warm as he came through the door, and his shadow danced in flickering light on the wall behind him. The furniture was pushed up against the walls.

“Hey, there he is!” Earl called out, somewhere on the floor, obstructed by some sort of structure.

“Uh, we have a fireplace now?”

Earl’s head popped into view, grinning from ear to ear. “City Council owed me a favor! I maybe possibly got the restaurant closed a little early with some minor food poisonings so that they could take Station Management on a private date.” He got up and came to Cecil, wrapping him in a hug. He was also dressed casually, in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt that read _Scouting is In-Tents!_ “We have it for a few days, but if we like it, maybe we can keep it. They have an anniversary coming up, you know… But you haven’t seen the best part!” He took Cecil’s arm and led him around the four-foot-tall obstruction on the floor. Cecil gasped.

“Early, is that a _nest_?” A pile of blankets lay on the rug, organized into a vaguely-ovoid shape.

“Well, yeah,” Earl said, blushing. “Not as good as you could make it — I can’t figure out how you can make one so you can breathe when you’re under there. So it’s more for laying _on_ than laying _in_ , but I made sure to make it soft.” He patted the blankets that overhung the nest, suspended on pillows. “I made a fort, too, or kind of a lean-to. I figured it’s the next best thing to camping.”

Cecil put his hand to his mouth. “Oh, Early, it’s perfect, thank you.”

Earl sat down on the pile of textiles. “C’mon, Cee. Have a seat.” He lifted his arms out to Cecil, who rested his cane against the fort and allowed himself to be guided down to the blankets. 

Cecil stretched out his legs slowly and painfully, and spread his toes to the fire. “Mmmm, warm.”

“You know,” Earl said, with a serious frown, “you should probably prop those feet up, they’re still pretty puffy.”

Cecil blinked in mock outrage. “Why, Mr. Harlan, are you insulting my toes?”

“Nope,” Earl said, all sincerity, “they are the cutest little toes I’ve ever seen. I just think they might be more comfortable up here.” He carefully grasped Cecil’s legs just above and below the knees and pivoted him so that he was perpendicular to his lap, his knees draped over Earl’s. “Now, isn’t that better?”

“Honestly, no, that hurts,” Cecil said, grimacing.

“Oh, sorry.” Earl moved him so that he was lying on his side, and lay down beside him. “How’s that?”

“Much better,” Cecil breathed. He closed his eyes and watched the patterns the fire made behind his eyelids. He reached behind him and took Earl’s hand and wrapped his arm around his waist. 

“Hey, don’t fall asleep, Cee,” Earl whispered behind him. 

“No, I’m not,” Cecil said, stretching. “This is just so comfy. So soft…”

“You know,” Earl ventured, “it would feel even softer if you took your clothes off.”

Cecil craned his neck to look at Earl. “Are you trying to get me into a compromising position?”

Earl shrugged. “No, I thought I’d get you into a _comfortable_ position and give you a massage, and the compromising position comes later, after some food and a little bit of champagne…”

Cecil nodded. “Well, all right, then. I’m not a cheap date.” He smiled as he let Earl begin to undress him.

“Oh, no, of course not, Multi-tiered Heavens forbid.” He pulled Cecil’s pajama pants off and whistled. “No underwear, nice. Hoping to get lucky?”

Cecil scoffed. “You wish. I’m just too tired to dress all the way. I’ve been quite ill, you know. I would never try to seduce you with my lack of underdrawers.” He winked.

“I’m sorry to have suggested such a thing,” Earl grinned. He pulled some massage oil from inside the nest. “So, uh, you mind if I get undressed, too? I don’t want to get oil all over my clothes.”

Cecil fluttered his eyelashes. “Seems only fair. I don’t want you to ruin your best outfit.”

“You’re so considerate,” Earl murmured. He got undressed, smirking, never breaking eye contact.

“Voidsdamn, you’re beautiful, Early,” Cecil cooed, reaching up to run his hands over his abs.

“Not as beautiful as you, Cee,” Earl breathed, pouring some massage oil into his hands, then warming it by rubbing them together. “Can you roll onto your back, Baby?”

Cecil did as he was told, and was rewarded for his trouble by Earl starting to massage his calves and thighs with long, deep strokes. He sighed and relaxed. “Mmmm, that feels so nice…”

“I always want you to feel nice,” Earl purred, working further up on Cecil’s hips, carefully avoiding his newly awakened cock. He spread the warm oil up further, gently working his hands over Cecil’s stomach and ribs, only stopping to get more oil when he ran out. As he made his way up to Cecil’s chest, he took a moment to tweak and play with his nipples. 

“Ungh, Early, you’re a terrible tease,” Cecil gasped, lifting his hips as well as he could. 

“Yeah, I know, right?” Earl gloated. He left Cecil’s chest and moved down, giving his swollen feet a thorough foot massage, gently working the puffy flesh between his sore toes. When he was done, he sat back.

“Damn,” he whispered, breathing hard. “If you could see yourself… Void, so beautiful, all glistening in the fire…” He ran his hands up Cecil’s thighs again. “You could roll over and I could do your back, or we could make passionate love, your choice…” 

“Come here, you,” Cecil moaned, wanting, reaching for him. Earl gratefully complied, laying as lightly as he could on top of him, his own desperate erection pressing between Cecil’s thighs. 

“I want you, Cee,” he murmured into Cecil’s collarbone. “Can we?”

“Yes, please,” Cecil said, moving slightly beneath him. “I want you, please…”

“I love it when you beg…” Earl gasped as Cecil took ahold of his dick, pressing it against him with surprising strength. “Hold on, let me get some lube, we don’t want to use this oil for that…” he warned. He dug around in the blankets some more, and came up with a tiny bottle. 

“You thought of everything,” Cecil snickered.

“A Scout is always prepared,” Earl intoned, spreading the lube on his fingers. He pushed them against Cecil’s hole and opened him with quick, sure pressure. When he was relaxed and loose, Earl thrust inside with a smooth, steady stroke. 

“Ah! Oh, Beams, Cecil,” he cried, squeezing his eyes shut at the warm, slippery squeeze.

“Birdie, please, I need you, please…” Cecil moaned, moving as well as he could against the cock in his ass. “Please, now…”

Earl, ever obliging, did as he was told. He began to thrust, slow and deep, inside Cecil as the flames crackled in the nearby fireplace. “Cee, oh, Cee, you feel so good, you feel like home, I love you, Cee,” he repeated, nearly insensate, as he thrusted.

Cecil, for his part, had his eyes squeezed shut behind his thick glasses, his third eye open, ever watching. A light sheen of sweat had added to the glistening oil on his skin, making him glow nearly golden in the firelight. His teeth worried his lower lip as he muttered choked prayers and curses. “Please, Birdie, I’m close, touch me, please,” he gasped. 

Earl, feeling the coiling pressure build in his groin and balls, took his grasp from Cecil’s hip and to his dick, and began to pump in time with his thrusts.

“Oh, Cee, so good, so sweet, love you so much,” Early repeated, thrusting faster. Neither would last long. With one final twist of his hand, he brought Cecil off, feeling viscous liquid spatter across his lower abdomen as he buried himself deep inside his lover and climaxed moments later.

They lay there, panting, for a moment. Then, slowly, regretfully, Earl eased himself off of Cecil and pulled a towel from the blanket pile. He wiped them off, then threw the towel into the corner, underneath a settee.

“We’ll get that later,” he panted.

“Yeah,” Cecil said, with a breathless nod. “Now is not the time for housework.”

Earl settled back down next to Cecil and pulled a blanket up over their sweat-soaked bodies. “That was so nice.”

“It was,” Cecil said with a wry smile. “But I believe I was promised food. And champagne.”

“Oh, goodness, what a bad host I am. I hope you don’t leave a bad Yelp review,” Earl deadpanned. He reached around behind the nest and pulled out a small plate of canapés and a bottle of champagne. He handed the plate to Cecil, then popped the cork and took a drink from the bottle. He burped lightly. “Better?”

“Yes, better,” Cecil grinned, snuggling down into the blankets.

“Good, I aim to please,” Earl said, popping a canapé into Cecil’s open mouth. “How is it?”

“Mmmm, s’good, izzat shrimp?” Cecil asked, around the morsel.

“Chew and swallow!” Earl admonished, then smiled. “Yeah, it is. Desert shrimp, the kind that’s real hard to catch, out near Radon Canyon.”

Cecil swallowed and groaned. “Amazing.” He took the champagne bottle from Earl and swigged some champagne, then handed it back and put his head on Earl’s shoulder. “Thank you, Early, this is perfect. I don’t deserve all this. I — I’m sorry I put you through all that stuff, earlier. I don’t know how I could have ever thought you didn’t care.”

Earl smiled sheepishly. “You’re welcome, Cee. But, uh… I have something I wanted to tell you. A confession, you might say.”

Cecil stiffened. “…. Aaaaand a little less perfect. What?”

Earl laughed and squeezed him. “Don’t worry. When you hear it, you’ll either laugh, or you’ll punch me in the face, and I think either one is appropriate. So, you know, since… since your… since last week, I’ve been thinking.”

“And you’re not even a scientist,” Cecil said.

“No, I know, imagine that. But I’ve been thinking. I mean, I’ve always… I’ve always prided myself on — or tried to — I've always understood how you’re feeling. And I missed it. I missed how bad you felt.”

Cecil shrugged. “I didn’t want you to know.”

Earl nodded. “I know, but that never stopped me before. But this time, I missed it entirely. And do you know why?”

“Carlos?” Cecil asked, his face tight.

“Well, he _was_ a distracting factor, for sure, but no, that’s not the whole story.” He chuckled, embarassed. “Do you know, all this time, I’ve been thinking that the whole problem with me and you was you? I mean, that we could have been happy all along, if only you’d wake up and see it?”

Cecil sighed. “Yeah, and you were right. I was a jerk. I’m sorry, Early. I don’t blame you for wanting to give me a taste of my own medicine.”

Earl sat up, eyes wide and sincere. “Yeah, no, but that’s it! I wasn’t trying to get revenge, at least not on purpose, no! I figured out, it’s — I’m a jerk, too! It’s not just you, Cecil!”

Cecil peered at him. “What?”

Earl took his hands. “All this time, Cecil — all this time, I thought that if you could behave, I could just keep going on with my own awesome self and not work too hard, and I could coast, and things would be great! But I figured out — Do you know what I figured out?” His voice rose, excited.

“What?” Cecil asked again, bewildered.

“I figured out, I’m a jerk, too!” Earl laughed nervously. “I’m a jackass, too, and you’re being fantastic and great, and you **are** fantastic and great, and that doesn’t mean I just get to sit back and loaf on my ass, I have to work to be fantastic and great to you! I have to pay attention, even if you’re working hard at this, I have to work hard too! And I didn’t know that! Isn’t that great? You are **not** the only jackass in this relationship, Cecil Palmer!”

Cecil regarded him seriously. “I’m not the only jackass?”

“No, sir.”

Cecil stared at him evenly for a long moment, then began to snicker. “I’m not the only jackass!”

“You aren’t, you aren’t, I’m a jackass, too!” Earl cried, joyfully.

“Fuck, that feels good to hear,” Cecil chortled. “Come here, you jackass!”

“Gladly!” Earl giggled, curling up next to him. They spent the whole night laughing, talking, eating and drinking together, until they fell asleep by the embers of the fire.

***

The next morning, Carlos came downstairs to find a jovial pair sitting around the kitchen table, hot mugs of coffee clutched in their hands. 

“How’d the date go?” he asked.

“I found out that Earl is a jackass!” Cecil said, brightly.

“And so is Cecil, don’t forget that,” Earl added, holding up his mug in a toast. Cecil clinked mugs with him.

“So it went badly?” Carlos asked with a frown.

“No, it went great!” Cecil said, erupting in laughter that Earl soon joined.

“You guys are weird,” Carlos said, shaking his head and smiling fondly and moving to get his own cup of coffee.


	3. Experiment 2: Cecilos

A visibly-flustered scientist guided his hybrid coupe to the curb and put it in park. “I’m sorry, Pookie, I thought you’d like it, I thought you’d be so surprised…”

Cecil sank back into the passenger seat. “No, no, I’m sorry, Sugar Britches. I’m being silly.” His hands danced in front of him with nervous agitation. “Let’s go back. Let’s go back, I’m just being weird. We still have time to make the reservation…”

Carlos closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “No. No, I… I missed something, I don’t know what, I rarely miss things, but I missed something. Forget the reservation, okay?”

“But your plans! Dinner!”

Carlos’ eyes opened slowly and he smiled. “Dinner’s not important, spending time with you is.” He reached over and took Cecil’s hand. “And hey! We’re right here at Jerry’s, why don’t we just get a few tacos?”

Cecil smiled back gratefully. “If you’re sure…”

Carlos squeezed his hand. “I’m sure. Now you sit right there, I’ll be right around to the other side.” He got out of the car and came around to the passenger side, opening the door and offering his arm to Cecil, who took it and climbed out, still a little stiff in his movements. 

“Thank you, Bubble Gum,” Cecil whispered.

“Of course, my handsome peanut brittle.” 

They walked arm-and-arm into the restaurant. Carlos led Cecil to a booth and motioned for him to sit, then went to the counter and ordered their meal. A few moments later, he returned with a tray laden-down with paper-wrapped and plastic-encased delights. 

“Okay, so, I didn’t know how hungry you were, so I got you an order of nachos chapulines with extra queso, and a side of guac. But I can get more if you’re still hungry. Oh, and some of that new ‘Scent of Misplaced Memories’ Fresca.”

“Mmmmm, no, that’s more than enough, thank you… What did you get?” Cecil asked, eyeing the food hungrily, taking his own off the tray and onto his side of the table.

“I got a nopales burrito with cashew cheese, and some pinto beans. And the Fresca. I’m going to take some back to the lab for analysis,” he said, pouring a small amount of his drink into a test tube, stoppering it, and putting it into a pocket of his ‘date-night’ lab coat. 

“Isn’t it great? They really capture the taste…” Cecil said, taking a slurp of his beverage. He coughed a little as some went down the wrong pipe, then recovered. “Thanks, Bunchy. I appreciate you changing your plans tonight.”

“ _Our_ plans,” Carlos corrected. “And I’m sorry that you didn’t enjoy the original. I don’t know where I went wrong, I thought you were dying to eat at Tourniquet.”

“I was…” Cecil hedged, toying with his straw. “And I mean, I am, I want to eat there, but… It’s Earl’s place.”

Carlos blinked at him, confused. “Well, yeah, that’s where he works, I’m aware… But so what? I thought the two of you were getting along great! Your date went well, from what I can infer…” he said, with a slight blush.

“Oh, it did, it did…” Cecil said, spreading his hands in front of him. “It’s not that. It’s not him, I just… I didn’t want to see him on **our** date.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t intrude,” Carlos frowned.

“Nooooo, I know, I don’t think he’d, like, serve himself for dessert on a platter or anything,” Cecil sighed. “It’s just… I can’t go there without knowing he’s in the back working, and it just wouldn’t… It didn’t seem like a time for us… I — I know that it’s not fair, but I was worried that maybe you took me there because you really wanted to see him.”

Carlos looked at him wide-eyed for a moment before responding. “Oh, no, Smoochy! I never — I didn’t think you’d ever think that! No! I wanted to spend tonight with you, I thought you’d like it, I know you’ve been wanting to go there for a while… I knew Earl made a big splash with his date, and I wanted to impress you. Oh, I’m no good at this…” he muttered, shaking his head.

“No, please, Carlos!” Cecil reached over the table and took Carlos’ burrito from his hands so that he could hold them. “I understand now, and I know you’d never try to hurt me… I overreacted, read things into what you were doing. And I do appreciate what you were thinking. And you never, ever, ever have to worry about impressing me. I think you’re perfect, without you even having to do anything.” 

Carlos blushed. “Thanks, Cecil. And you’re perfect to me.” He kissed Cecil’s knuckles. “Now, can we let go? The cashew cheese gets weird if it gets cold.”

Cecil laughed. “Okay, let’s eat.” He took a bite of his nachos and chewed for a moment. “You know, when you told me to get dressed up, I thought… well, I thought maybe you were taking me to Gino’s. Like on our first date.”

Carlos, mid-bite, paused only to make sure he’d swallowed before he answered. “Well, you know, I thought about it, but then I thought you wouldn’t want to do something we’d already done, you know? It would be boring.”

“Ah…” Cecil pushed his guacamole around with a chip. “I know it’s too late for Gino’s now, but for future reference, I think that would be very romantic.”

“Welllllll…” Carlos pondered. “It might be too late for Gino’s, but if you’re still up for it, after we eat, I have an idea.”

Cecil grinned. “I love your ideas, Wooly Bear. What is it?”

“A surprise,” Carlos said through a mouthful of pintos. “A good one, this time.”

“I can’t wait,” Cecil said, and dug into his dinner with gusto.

A short time later, they exited the restaurant, full and happy. Carlos kissed Cecil on the cheek. “Are you feeling up to a short stroll?”

“Yes, I think I can manage,” Cecil said, again taking Carlos’ arm. Carlos led them down the street to a small, street-lit park.

“Mission Grove,” Cecil said, with a satisfied sigh.

“Just like on our first date,” Carlos said, guiding him to a copse of trees. They stopped next to a sturdy palmetto, and Carlos guided Cecil to lean against it. “Do you remember?”

“Of course! We took a walk, and you stopped to do science on the trees.”

“That’s not what I wanted to do, I wanted to do this…” Carlos brushed a lock of hair out of Cecil’s eyes and leaned in, kissing him gently. “Well, I wanted to do experiments on the trees, too, but I also wanted to kiss you.”

“And why didn’t you?” Cecil asked, against his lips. 

“I was scared,” Carlos admitted. “I’m glad I found the courage later. I wasn’t sure… When I saw how disappointed you were that I was dropping you off, then I knew… I knew that it would be okay. That I could kiss you, because you wanted it, too.”

“Oh, Carlos,” Cecil breathed, melting into the bark behind him. 

“That wasn’t all I wanted to do,” Carlos continued, pressing him closer into the tree. He laced his fingers through Cecil’s hair and pulled his head back, then kissed him deeply. “I wanted you, my darling Cecil, I wanted to kiss you everywhere, touch you…” he ground against him, Cecil shivering in his arms. He kissed along Cecil’s neck, nipping at the pulse that hammered there. “What would you like me to do right now? Anything you want…”

Cecil giggled shakily and pulled Carlos away from his neck. A flush rose in his face and his eyes shone. He bit his lip. 

“I know this sounds silly, Bunny, but could we just… cuddle? I want you too, gods, you’re sexy, but could you just… hold me for now? I miss that, I miss you. Please? I’m sorry.”

Carlos laughed, grinning from ear to ear. “Of course, Pooh! Don’t be sorry, I love being close to you… You’re easily the most-cuddle-able person I’ve ever met.” He spread his lab coat onto the ground and sat on it, then pulled Cecil into his lap. 

“Am I more cuddle-able than Earl?” Cecil asked, nuzzling into his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Carlos sighed. “Not exactly a snuggler, that one.” He put his arms tightly around Cecil. “But enough about him for now. This is for us, right?”

“Right,” Cecil agreed. As the moon rose large in the sky, he put his head on Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos put his hand on Cecil’s knee, and everything was as perfectly-imperfect as could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long time updating, and sorry for the lack of smut! Those two dorks just wanted to cuddle today. I'm hoping to get back in the game and write more soon.


	4. Experiment 3: Earlos

Two men walked silently across the sandy desert floor at sunset. Abruptly, one stopped.

Earl cursed and tossed his rucksack into the dust, kicking at it with his heavy hiking boot. “Seriously? This is how this is gonna go?”

Carlos looked up from his phone, puzzled. “Hmm? What’s the problem?”

“The **problem** ,” Earl growled, “is that we are supposed to be on a date. And I…” He gestured dramatically at himself. “I am! See, look at me, I’m wearing my nice flannel, my good cargo pants, daty-daty-date!” He did a sarcastic little jig. “ _Unfortunately_ , my dating partner — that would be you, by the way — did not seem to get the memo!”

Carlos scratched his head. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m here, right? Here I am, Earl! Here I am!” He gave a little wave. 

“Yeah, maybe physically you are, but mentally, you’re miles away, aren’t you? You keep checking your phone!”

“Oh, no, this is sci-”

“Don’t give me that science excuse!” Earl spat. “You’re checking to see if Cecil called, aren’t you? If you didn’t want to be here with me, you should have said something before I wasted the gas dragging your ass out here to the Sand Wastes!” He folded his arms and grimaced.

Carlos sighed and ran a hand through his unruly hair. “I’m sorry. You’re right, that’s what I was doing. I can’t believe I lied about science.” He hung his head in shame. “But it’s not because I don’t want to be out here with you, Earl. I love you, and I love being outside with all this exciting nature to study. I’m just worried. Do you think — do you think we should have maybe stayed closer to home? Is this all too soon?”

Earl’s expression softened, and he put his arm around the other man. “Ah, geez. I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have gotten mad. I get where you’re coming from… and, I mean, I’m a little worried, too.” He took a deep breath. “But I think this is important. I need to be able to spend time with you one-on-one, if we’re gonna be a thing, and I definitely want us to be a thing.”

Carlos nodded. “I do, too. I just — I don’t want him to feel like we’re running out on him, you know? Especially after last time.”

Earl gave him a squeeze. “Yeah, but we have to trust him. He’s stronger than we give him credit for. Remember, he lived with both of us being gone for a year. He’s tough. Sometimes a little too tough for his own good, if you ask me. And we aren’t doing him any favors by treating him like he’s spun sugar, you know? He’s gonna hang out at the house, work on his art, watch TV, call Abby and get on her nerves, that kind of thing. And then tomorrow, when we get home, he’s gonna see that we can spend time apart and still come back to him. And we’ll all be better off, right?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Carlos agreed after a short silence. He handed Earl his phone. “Here, you take this, otherwise I’m just going to be tempted to stare at it. But if I need it for science, you have to give it right back.”

“Deal,” Earl said with a grin, putting the phone in his rucksack and shouldering it again. He gave Carlos a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Now, with that out of the way, where do you want to set up camp?”

“I have no idea,” Carlos said with a shrug. “This is your idea, not mine. Now the Desert Otherworld, ho ho, I could show you some things there that would make your head spin!”

“Yeah, and I’m gonna show you some things later that will make your pretty boy hair stand on end,” Earl smirked. “But let’s stop talking about my dick, that’s not gonna get us a campsite. How about…” he scanned the area. “How about over there?” He pointed off in the distance. “If we hike over to that mesa, we’ll have a real nice view of the void.”

“Sounds good to me.” Carlos set off after Earl. “You know, mesas are just mountains that have a flat top.”

“Pffffft,” Earl scoffed. “Sure, tell me another one. If it was a mountain, it would be called a mountain, not a mesa. And it wouldn’t be real, which this one is. So there.” He nodded, pleased with himself. 

“That’s the worst reasoning I’ve ever — aaah, forget it. Let’s just enjoy the hike.” He smiled fondly and took Earl’s hand. They walked along in companionable silence, broken only occasionally by Carlos oohing and aahing over some interesting rock, or by Earl whistling old campfire tunes. After about an hour, they made it to the spot they had chosen.

“Well, time to set up camp!” Earl said, grinning. He opened the rucksack and pulled out two sleeping bags and spread them on the ground. “There, camp is set!”

“Aren’t you missing something?” Carlos asked, eyebrow raised.

“Hmm? Like what?” Earl said, unzipping the bags and zipping them back together to form one. 

“The tent, perhaps?” 

“Tent?” Earl made a disgusted face. “Why would we want a tent? That’s practically a house!”

“Oh, yes, we wouldn’t want to get soft, with those modern conveniences like having shelter from the elements,” Carlos sighed, sitting down on the sand. “Hand me my slide rule, I want to do some calculations before it gets too dark.” 

“Yes, sir,” Earl grumbled, pulling it out of his bag. He handed it to Carlos, then set about gathering wood scraps to build a fire. 

Carlos mumbled to himself, writing his equations in the sand with a small stick. It wasn’t long before he noticed that rather than getting darker, it was getting very bright indeed, almost like full daylight. 

“Wow, Early, you really are a master at firebuilding,” he said, admiringly.

“Are you being sarcastic?” Earl grunted, crouched over the small pile of tinder he was trying to coax into a flame. “The wood’s damp for some voidsdamn reason, and I can’t…” He looked up from his task and stood, hand shielding his eyes from the light. “Oh, hey! The Glow Cloud!”

Carlos lifted his eyes from his work. “Oh, my, yes,” he agreed. “Odd for it to be out all this way, don’t you think? Maybe it’s doing something for the school board, scouting out some field trip locations.”

“Well, I don’t know why it would have to be that, I mean, it’s not like all it ever does is do school board stuff, it has a life too, I’m sure,” Earl countered.

“Oh, of course,” Carlos said, with a little laugh. “It’s very unscientific of me to jump to such conclusions…” He squinted toward the dark shape as it moved closer.

“You’re losing your touch, my manly pheromones must be messing with your head!” Earl chuckled. The cloud was very nearly on top of them now. Luckily, rather than tossing out dead cows or horses, tonight it was just dropping orbs of various sizes that landed on the ground with a soft splut-splut-splut. “Whazzat, do you think?”

Carlos peered at one of the orbs. “It appears to be a member of the subphylum medusozoa.”

“Say what now?”  
Carlos beamed. He loved explaining things. “Subphylum medusozoa, of the phylum cnidaria. In common terms, a jellyfish.”

Earl giggled. “Jellyfish? Sounds like it’d be good on toast.”

Carlos giggled along with him. “Yes, it does, doesn’t it? Of course, it wouldn’t be. They’re venomous, and some species fatally so. Like that box jellyfish there.” He pointed to one as it splutted to the ground between them.

“You don’t say?” Earl pondered, then his eyes grew wide. “Holy shit, we’ve gotta run!” He grabbed Carlos and yanked him from his sitting position, dragging him along as he took off running across the desert, pursued by the cloud and the falling invertebrates. Carlos did his best to keep up with him, panting and clutching his slide rule to his chest. 

“C’mon, this way! Just up in this cave!” Earl yelled back to the winded scientist. He dove through the cave entrance, executing a perfect tuck-and-roll as he did. Carlos attempted to follow suit, but slipped on an already-fallen jelly fish and ended up sprawling on his back just shy of safety. He looked up and could see a translucent blob heading right for his face. He closed his eyes and waited for excruciating pain and, possibly, death. Then he felt a strong arm grasp him and pull him inside, followed by the loudest bellow he had ever heard. 

“OW! OW OW OW OW OWIE!” Earl yelled, clutching at his arm and dancing around with tears in his eyes. “OH HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS! AM I GONNA DIE?”

“Calm — calm down, Early, let me look,” Carlos said, hovering anxiously. “Let me see, please?”

“O-okay,” Earl sniffled. He held out his arm, looking for all the world like a toddler with a boo-boo.

Carlos gingerly examined the wound. “Well, good news, Early,” he said, sliding his glasses up on his nose. “It doesn’t look like a particularly bad sting. And we know it wasn’t the box jellyfish, or you’d probably be unconscious right now.”

“Oh, wow, so comforting, thanks,” Earl sulked.

“I’m sorry, Early,” Carlos said, hugging him gently. “You were very brave to have saved me. Do you want me to pee on you?”

“Will that help?” Earl asked, uncertainly.

“With the pain? No, almost certainly not. I just thought maybe you’d be into that. I mean, _I’m_ not, but I didn’t want to assume you wouldn’t be.”

“Well, I’m not, and that’s a stupid thing to ask me — wait, how did it get me through my shirtsleeve? And what happened to your coat? And my pants? What the hell?”

Carlos looked down and saw, with concern, that his lab coat looked like Emmental cheese, and Earl’s pants looked similar. In fact, all their clothing was riddled with growing, smoking holes. “Oh, interesting. It seems as though there was also an acidic component to the Glow Cloud storm tonight. That’s probably what got your arm, Early, not the jellyfish. Oh, and we should probably get undressed. Like, right now. Before it gets on our skin.”

“Agh!” Earl cried, jumping up and shucking off his clothing. Carlos did the same, and soon they were both standing in the chilly cave in their underwear. He jabbed his finger at Carlos, shaking. “You know, I’ve been out here camping hundreds, no, thousands of times! And I’ve been chased by cricket bears, stalked by spiderwolves, I’ve even sat on a cactus. But never, NEVER have I EVER been attacked by acidic jellyfish!” He glared at him for a minute, then broke out into a wide grin. “It’s pretty cool.”

Carlos grinned back, relieved. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it? A real, scientific adventure.” He put his arms around Earl’s waist and held him close. “Thank you, Early. This is an awesome date.” 

“It is,” Earl agreed. “I wonder, though, why the Glow Cloud came after us like that. It isn’t usually that aggressive.”

Carlos snickered. “Maybe it was trying to set the scene and get me away from my equations. I mean, here we are in a nice, cozy… well, maybe not _nice_ or _cozy_ exactly, but safe and reasonably comfortable cave, and I, mean, we are mostly undressed… and we _should_ huddle together for warmth…” He trailed off coyly and ran his index finger over Earl’s lips. “I think we might owe the Glow Cloud our thanks…”

Earl laughed. “I’ll send it a basket of cookies.” He bent Carlos back into an almost-graceful dip and kissed him on the neck. “But since I’m the one who got burned by the acid while saving _your_ cute butt, I get to top.”

Carlos shook his head. “Uh-uh. We don't have lube; it's down at the campsite.”

Earl considered. “Blowjob?”

Carlos held his finger up in the air. “Ah. Sixty-nine.”

Earl nodded and pulled Carlos to the cave floor. “I like the way you think, perfesser.”

"That's doctor to you."

"Whatever, shut up and kiss me, nerd."

"Gladly."

The men embraced as outside the cave, the desert was lit by an ever-shifting glow, and the only sounds were the music of passion and the soft splut of plummeting marine invertebrates.


End file.
